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PREHISTORIC PROTO-MONKEY: I don't need ascorbic acid. From my cells. I eat fruit all the time dude. I'm better than that
OTHER PREHISTORIC PROTO-MONKEY: I agree with your lifestyle and will fuck you raw to prove it
GUY LOOKING FOR THE NORTHWEST PASSAGE 36,530,125 YEARS LATER: ow oof my shitty british teeth
[trying to show my left-handed friend I'm a good ally] yeah it surprised me a lot how much anti-left-handed language is still floating around. it's honestly kind of sinis... sorry, I didn't mean that, I wasn't trying to be passive aggressive or underhanded or....... I try so hard.anfi always,mess up erverythijgg..
a couple weeks ago, someone called and left a message on my team's phone at work. this was a phone number that he should not have been able to find and which isn't actually manned. we are an IT team and have the number to keep our team zoom account. so no one picks it up, but every time someone leaves a message, everyone on the team gets an email with the transposed text.
this man left a 7 minute long message with my tech team about how he wanted a job in our sales department.
in it, he called himself a savage no less than 12 times. he spent most of the 7 minutes talking about how well he closes deals and sells. he left this message over the weekend. in it, he said the words "i'm a beast, i'm a killer" multiple times, which i now can't seem to get out of my vocabulary. i say it literally every day and i can't explain it because it's like a personal meme.
my team actually found this message so fucking funny that we immediately found the sales team recruiter and got him over there. we all dearly hope that he gets hired so we can meet him. he's like a celebrity to us. he's a beast. a killer even.